Title: a dark Journey into the Light
Author: Josef
Series: Standalone
Genre: Autobiography
Publisher: Self – Published
Edition/Formats: eBook
Blurb/Synopsis:
A dark Journey into the light is the true story of a man who, for sixty
years, led a double life.
Josef is lost in a secret world of sexual gratification, a
true-life Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, unable to halt the “roller coaster of
conflicting emotional extremes that never stopped long enough for me to get
off.”
“I gave myself to that sexual playground completely, and
loved every minute of it when it was happening. It was only afterwards that
spikes of shame, guilt, and self-¬loathing would be driven deep into my heart.”
He traces the beginnings of his obsession to his childhood,
where his natural innocent curiosity and need for exploration were at odds with
his Catholic upbringing and the view of his extremely repressed mother, both of
whom regarded the human body as ‘dirty’ and ‘shameful’.
For sixty years, Josef lived a secret double life. The only
people who knew about this other life were the professional mistresses, trannies,
and prostitutes with whom he indulged every conceivable sexual fantasy. No one
in his ‘other’ life had any idea of who he really was or the things he did.
Yet his secret life claimed a terrible toll. The failure of
his first marriage. The loss of his son. The loss of his beloved second wife.
Only after extensive therapy was he finally able to see and
feel the light of compassion, and allow the healing energy of forgiveness to
begin taking away the pain.
In his journey, Josef explores an astonishing variety of
topics. In addition to sexual addiction and the hidden world of BDSM, he delves
into the burden of guilt of the Catholic Church, fear, political correctness,
non-¬judgment, love and loss, philosophy, the soul, spiritual awakening, and
healing.
This is the journey of an ordinary man lost in an
extraordinary secret, dark world, who ultimately finds his way out of the
tangled mess through the power of love and forgiveness.
My session with Mistress Serena was a harsh introduction to
the world of BDSM. I say harsh, not because of the physical beating she gave
me, because I kind of enjoyed that, but because of her lack of any sensitivity
to the relationship. As soon as you step into a dungeon and give yourself over
to someone, you have entrusted to that person your physical and emotional
wellbeing. That is fundamental to BDSM play.
Trust is critical in a dominant/submissive (dom/sub)
relationship, and it does not need a full lifestyle commitment for this to be
true. It is always true and without trust, any exploration of the beautiful
dom/sub world is impossible. Only when you begin to unlock and explore the
endless spectrum of sexual expression inherent in your emotions and desires can
you understand how important the element of trust is. Stepping into a dungeon
and putting your trust in someone to take care of you does not mean respecting
only physical boundaries. That part is easy. It also means the dom must tune in
to your wishes and into where you are in yourself at any time during play.
Empathy is a critical part of the trust factor. In a true dom/sub relationship,
the dom will always acknowledge they are there to serve their sub’s desire for
submission, just as much as the sub is there to please them. A dom/sub
relationship is a bond of total equality.
There are rules in BDSM play, and Serena followed them to
the letter.
She established the physical boundaries of the session by
ensuring we had a safe word in place.
Tick!
She asked for my permission before striking my face.
Tick!
She asked for my permission before inviting another person
into the session.
Tick!
She reminded me of the safe word I could use at any time to
stop.
Tick!
She didn’t break any rules throughout the session. That’s
all well and good, but as I threw myself into BDSM I found there was so much
more to it than that. Trust is the biggest factor, and an absolute necessity
for the relationship to grow. I wouldn’t trust Serena to pet my cat.
Less than two weeks after seeing Serena, I found my way back
to the same BDSM house. I wasn’t interested in seeing her again, but I knew
there was a lot more to this and wanted to explore it further. With my wounded
willy still healing from Serena’s vicious assault, I rang and made an
appointment.
The routine was the same as before, and one I quickly became
familiar with. I met the mistresses in the waiting room first and discussed
what I wanted from the session, before being escorted to one of the dungeons.
Amazon
Australia
Amazon
Canada
Amazon
UK
Amazon
US
