Author: Joe King
Series: F.U.B.A.R. (Book 1)
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: Dec 24 2014
Editions/Formats Available In: eBook and Print
Blurb/Synopsis:An aimless, down on his luck man discovers a clandestine government agency tasked with combating supernatural evil, beneath the grounds of a mental health hospital where he works; the agency, the Frontline Unified Battalion of Arcane Resistance (F.U.B.A.R.). Getting recruited for their cause, he is accidentally afflicted with a curse, casting the sensible ego aspect of his personality into a subconscious prison, allowing his psychotic id to take over his body. Now this madman must lead a motley crew of supernatural agents, including a punk rock witch, a werewolf, a medium and the ghost of his best friend, and a female Japanese ninja, against a globe spanning, world devouring evil, whilst dealing with the monsters inside his head.
Bearing witness to the Herald with their own eyes was like a punch to the stomach to each of them; it was as magnificent as it was loathsome in its unrestrained raw power. Its torso rippled with grey fleshed sinewy muscle. Both arms were wiry and far too long for its body, yet capable of incomprehensible strength, both wrists ending in huge bony, three clawed talons. The beast had no legs, but rolled along on some kind of organic, armoured sphere of flesh.
The wind whipped grit and ash into the eyes of Whiskey team as they squinted at the demonic invader amidst the towering columns of smoke.
‘Put us down on top of King’s Court Mall’ Dave ordered, turning back to yell at the pilots.
Clyde double checked his equipment as the Osprey gently began its descent, which was when something re-occurred to him.
‘You realize you’re not wearing pants friend?’ he asked Dave, who stood confidently in his bowling shoes, heart shaped boxers, fingerless gloves, white shirt and black tie, trench coat and fedora.
‘I ain’t got time for pants’ Dave rumbled in a macho growl.
The noise of the aircraft hadn’t gone unnoticed.
‘You got time to duck?’ Clyde asked, eyes terror stricken as a crushed up motorcycle hurtled end over end towards the open door of the Osprey.
The aircraft banked left sharply, avoiding the motorbike by meters. The tilt threw the team into a jumbled heap of limbs against the side of the cargo bay.
‘Uh, get off me dude’ Clyde mumbled through the furry bulk of Rufus’s shoulder.
‘Sorry’ Rufus offered as Clyde spat a gob of fur out of his mouth.
The Osprey righted itself and Lizzy turned back to the open door.
What she saw shouldn’t have surprised her yet her expression was a fair facsimile of a parent long grown tired of disciplining their unruly child, ‘Dave what are you doing? Wait until we land.’
Dave had a bayonet clamped between his teeth and was strapping on a parachute, ‘You guys stick to the plan’ he mumbled around the steel.
The Osprey continued its vertical descent as the team shook their heads in bewilderment, watching Dave brandish his knife around excitedly before throwing himself out the back of the aircraft, his war cry of ‘CHUCK NORRIS!’ ringing in their ears.
‘Lizzy, I know we have all discussed this at great length, but you really dropped the ball when you tried to bring him back from the dead’ Kev said mystified.
‘Tell me about it. The guy’s a friggin’ menace’ Lizzy replied.
‘Seriously, why has he taken his pants off again?’ Kev asked.
Rufus squinted against the rush of air flowing through the open door ‘I was listening to Tom Petty’ Rufus held out his iPod, ‘He said something about liking the song “Free Ballin’.’
‘And you didn’t feel like correcting him?’ Kev asked with a shake of his head.
‘I was curious where he was going with it’ he answered with a flash of white canines.
Tell my readers a little bit about yourself and your book/books.
I have always been instantly attracted to monsters, action, martial arts and comic books. Big dramatic heroics are popular the world over for a very good reason. F.U.B.A.R. is my first book, but by the time I have told the whole story it will be a series. F.U.B.A.R. is basically my fanboy wet dream for all of my aforementioned loves.
How would you introduce your book/books to someone that has yet to read them?
I would describe it as an exciting yet comical first step into a huge epic battle between good and evil.
What inspired you to start writing? What age did you start?
In all honesty, I never started writing until my late twenties. I would frequently come up with snippets of prose in my head but never had the confidence to actually sit down and try to tell a story, even though my imagination was an overactive tiresome nuisance. In the end, I decided to finally construct a story involving some of the characters and scenes that I had created in my head.
What do you enjoy doing when you’re not writing?
When I’m not writing, I enjoy playing guitar (and bass guitar in a rock band called the Polyveldts), reading and drawing.
What advice would you give to an aspiring author?
Have confidence in yourself, even if initially it is just to start writing in private. Then if what you are writing starts to take shape, show it to somebody you trust to get feedback. And don’t lose faith, we all have bad days, but persevere for the sake of your story and you may be pleasantly surprised.
What’s your favorite scene/line from your works?
I don’t know for certain if it’s my favourite scene, but I like the live and death fight between the hungover
Whiskey team agents and Pyre in their burning apartment, all to the soundtrack of TOTO’s “Hold The
Line”. It’s the blending of the action, drama and absurd.
What's the hardest thing about writing?
Finding the time in a busy day, especially when you’re tired. But even if you just manage to make a few notes it all helps, working towards fleshing out ideas, characters and scenes for example.
What are you currently working on?
At the moment I am working on F.U.B.A.R.’s second book and I can’t wait to get it out there. Should be done in the next few months.
What books did you read as a child?
Growing up I was obsessed with early Stephen King mainly, but also liked Clive Barker, Robert McCammon and Dan Simmons. Now Jonathan Maberry, Joe Hill, John Connelly and Kim Newman are recent favourites.
How has your life changed since you began writing?
It hasn’t to be honest, haha. Same old song and dance.
Do you listen to music while you write?
Frequently yes to spur on my motivation. Then when I do my re-reads I work in silence to avoid distractions.
What's been your favorite moment as an author?
Getting my first review on Amazon made me practically float instead of walk.
Out of all of your characters, who is your favorite?
That’s a tough one to answer, but if I had to pick one then I suppose it would have to be the lead protagonist Dave Reynolds. I like the combination of his crazy appearance and crazier personality...that’s what happens when your ego is imprisoned by psychic gremlins, leaving your id to run the show and save the city/world.
What do you want readers to take away from your books?
Full-on entertainment and nothing more.
Do you have any interesting dreams or goals?
I keep it simple and humble. As long as some people enjoy my stories then I have achieved my goal.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Probably repeating the same day over and over like Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day.
Where can fans find you?
Check out my Twitter @FUBARJoe85 and my Facebook page.
Joe King woke up one day, unsure of where he came from or where he was going. To this day he blindly stumbles through life hoping everything will turn out okay. At some point, he worked as a janitor in a mental health hospital, where he discovered an obscene amount, emphasise obscene, of hair on the carpet of one of the counselling rooms. Naturally, he became convinced that the patient must have been a werewolf, there is simply no other explanation. Not having any silver or dog collars to hand he decided to knock the idea around which snowballed into F.U.B.A.R., his first novel and the first instalment of the series.
When he's not writing, he enjoys reading books and comic books, begrudgingly trying to emulate the fine work of the talented comic book artists, loathing himself, slapping the bass in a rock band, loathing himself a bit more and playing guitar.